By Victor Tanner

The ever increasing diversity of religious faith in America can cause quite of bit of turmoil amongst their followers. As it turns out, these differences might be more dangerous than previously thought. As America's religious landscape becomes more and more diverse, there is a very real danger that conflicting prayers offered to different gods may phase cancel each other out in much the same way that noise silencing systems work, rendering the prayers useless.

 

Noise cancellation, or active noise control, is a method for reducing unwanted sound. It can make something as loud as helicopter blades practically silent. It does this by sending out a second sound wave with the same amplitude but the opposite polarity as the original sound. The original sound wave and the new sound wave combine and effectively cancel each other out making the rotors appear silent.

 

In much the same way, it may be possible that prayers sent to different gods could be sent on different wave lengths. These wave lengths could be off phase from each other just enough that they might cancel each other out, making prayers to the Christian god silent.

 

At this point, it is just a hypothesis, but the data does make sense. Prayers to different gods, after all, could not be traveling at the same wavelength. Otherwise all the gods would get their messages mixed up. And, as has been found in recent studies, prayers do not appear to work any better than mere chance. This could be because the prayers are not getting through.

 

Phase cancellation appears to be the principle danger to Christian prayers, which are omni-directional, like the bass frequencies lower than 100Hz that emanate from your home theater's subwoofer. Muslim prayers, however, are unidirectional and must be precisely aimed toward the Kaaba Stone in Mecca in order to be effective. If they miss their intended target they will continue past it and shoot off into space at the speed of prayer, bouncing off of Mars, and eventually landing on the planet Kolob, where the Mormon God will find them.